v "Where are you?? How come u didn't pick up my call?"
w "at civics."
v "So....smoking weed is more important then me?"
w "Yes."
v "...well...come home whenever you want. I won't be there."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
v "I love you like a sister...always have, always will. and u know i'd never do anything in the world to hurt you...just wanted to let you know that..."
p "I can feel that theres something on your mind. Say what you want to say."
v "actually that was your chance to tell me whats up...guess u dont want too...how could u P? my fucking ex-boyfriend"
p "u don't understand"
v "what dont i understand? please explain to me, cause i must be mising something here"
p "he makes me so happy...we get along really well...and ive been so sad and depressed for the past 6 years, hes just so good to me...try to understand, i dont really have any friends either"
v "ok. 1. i understand. because once upon a time he used to make me happy like that. 2. of course u've been depressed for 6 years, thats nobodies fault except for urs, so dont use it as an excuse. u decided to stay with a psycho...u knew that t was fucked up for you too. but u didnt do shit about it. so u do NOT get to use that as an excuse k. 3. theres a reason u have no friends. maybe one is not a big deal, but losing lots of friends and not making any new ones? maybe u should take a long hard look at urself honey."
p "u being a bitch just reminds me that its QUALITY over QUANTITY"
v "i knew u were selfish and a bitch, but i never knew u were fucking stupid too...how the fuck did you expect me to react? 'ohhh p, i love u so much, dont worry, just go and be with my ex, its not gonna bother me at all' stupid bitch
v "goodbye p. i hope u know what ur doing. i hope u n him are very happy together for a long time."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
v "how long have u felt like this about p"
w "long time"
v "so like 8 mths ago, when i came home early from school and caught her sneaking out? already then?"
w "i lost feelings for u long time ago"
v "that wasn't my question, r u stupid? ill just take it as a yes...u have two days to switch insurance otherwise i'm calling the car in as stolen and cancelling the insurance."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
My Best Friend Paige
Out of all my friends I never thought she would be the one to betray me.
When I heard the gossip from another girl, I denied it. Just denied and denied. It wasn’t possible for Paige to do that to me. Any other girl, sure, I mean she already had, but this was me. It was different. The justifications that I came up with in my mind, just seem ridiculous and insane to me now.
‘Bzzt. Bzzt.’
“Hi… I’ve been feeling like we need to talk… I don’t know how we got like this, but I don’t like it.”
“You don’t know how we got like this? Easy, you couldn’t keep your legs shut, and you couldn’t find any other guy in Vancouver who would sleep with you, you disgusting hoe. I never thought the nickname ‘Hoe Bag’ would be fit you so well. You fucked the same guy who Amanda fucked – two days later, and YOU KNEW. Now you’re fucking Chester. Fuck off.” I began to laugh mirthlessly.
“Call disconnected.”
The second I threw my phone against the windshield of my car, I felt the pangs of regret constrict my chest, and I began to feel a solid rock form in my throat. No, I would not cry. Not over her, after the years I defended her; the scars on my body and in my soul which had all resulted from being friends with her.
Memories came, rushed in and tumbled around my mind. Little things, how the warm summer breeze made my wind chime tinkle. The breeze that made things hotter. How we were sitting on my bed (my room had room for nothing else except a big bed and a make-up table, clothes were strewn everywhere, and anywhere they could be) gossiping, making prank calls, young fun. We had money, looks, and the trust of girls who had grown up together, but the vagueness of girls who had been betrayed in the past. Two girls who had been to hell and back again – together. Always together.
The heat was making us restless, making our minds jump from topic to topic, talking about everything and anything, no secret was too big to withhold, and no detail too minor to divulged. Finally, landing on the topic of our guys, our past loves: the big ones, the small ones, the ones who broke our hearts, and the hearts we broke. The ones we were putting aside for the future.
“Chester.” I declared. “Chester is definitely the one I would want to marry. He’s – reliable, I mean, yeah, he’s, uhh, a little bit of a ladies man right now, but I mean he’s almost 30, eventually he’s going to want to settle down. And he has a career, and future, legit – normal. I wouldn’t have to worry about him getting shot, or arrested. Not like James”
“Yeah, but you would have to worry about him bringing home Chlamydia. I don’t know about you, but I rather worry about my man getting arrested the bringing home STDs.” As she laughed at her own thoughts, Paige expressed her opinion of my ‘future man’. “Wait, didn’t James give you Chlamydia? And get shot? And arrested? No wonder Chester looks like a dream come true to you!” No sooner then the words were out of her mouth, she began to howl with laughter.
As I sat in my car, the more memories flooded my mind. Like intruders that were breaking through the wall I had erected to protect myself. Little flashes of the underground poker house we worked at. Well, technically, I worked at, and she flirted with other guys then proceeded to take half my tips.
“Honestly, Jennifer, I’m telling you,” Paige started as she gulped down red wine. “Chester is fucking disgusting. Seriously. I don’t get why you even dated him in the first place. Let alone sleep with him! Shit. He’s so….sleazy, there’s just this vibe he gives off that screams sleaze ball!”
“Paige, can you not? First of all, who the fuck gulps red wine? You’re going to be sick in about 15 minutes, and I’m gonna get stuck cleaning all this shit up. Second of all, he screams sleaze to you because you keep acting like a slut with his friend. Talking about how you want to do a three-some with Kale and a white chick.” I stared at her over the top of my mostly vodka with a little bit of cranberry juice (just to make it pink) drink.
“Whatever, I just don’t think that he’s boyfriend material. Or husband, like your deluded mind thinks he is. Or even fuckable!” She finished the rest of her wine in a gulp, began to laugh, stopped half way and ran for the bathroom, with her hand covering her mouth.
Memories in my mind swirled as I watched the smoke swirl in my car.
Bzzzt. Bzzzt.
“Hello?”
“Hey! Where are you? I haven’t seen you in so long!”
“Ok, shh, but I’m at a hockey game! Guess with who!” She whispered excitedly into the phone.
“Umm, it’s not hockey season. Are you watching the league hockey?” I asked curiously.
“Yeah! With Chester! Yeah, I was bored and I was talking to him on MSN, he asked me to go, so yeah!” She continued to whisper in the phone.
“Oh, that’s…cool… You guys been hanging out a lot lately?” I began to feel the headache form in my skull, pressure pushing out from every point possible, not unlike how Zeus must have felt when Athena axed her way out of his skull. Make that a pounding migraine.
“Not much -- anyways, he’s going to bring all of us out tonight, for my birthday. He rented us a party bus!” She squealed. “We’ll pick you up around 10 P.M.; we’re going all out tonight!”
‘Call disconnected.’
I felt a twinge pull in my stomach, a feeling I couldn’t quite place. I felt like it was at the edge of my brain, waiting to tumble into my mouth, but it just wasn’t substantial enough to spiral downwards yet. Yet.
When we arrived at the club, we went straight for the bar, and so began the drinking.
“Happy birthdayyy to youuuuuuuu, happy birthday to youuuu!!! Happy birthday dear Hoe Baaagggg!!!! Happy birthday to youu!! Whoooo!!!!!” We drunkenly screamed as we popped a bottle of champagne.
“What!! I thought foam was supposed to shoot everywhere!” One girl drunkenly despaired, as she reached for the bottle.
We passed the bottle around, 15 girls, each taking a long swig at it. When it got to me, I didn’t know what was going on, except that I finished the bubbly. Two second later, I felt it burn my stomach, and then feel a lot of extra salvia in my mouth, the bubbles began marching back -- upwards. I ran to the bathroom, into a stall, and let out all the bubbly the same way I let it in. The acid burned all the way up. Funny how some things are so smooth going down, but so rough coming back up. I puked a few more times – I had been drinking excessively, attempting to numb the voice in my head that kept doubting my best friend.
There was no way Paige could do that to me. She couldn’t have forgotten that conversation, about our future men. More importantly, she wouldn’t sleep with Chester. Not too long ago, she thought he was the devil incarnate. She wouldn’t sleep with the same guy I slept with. The thought made the bile rise up my throat again and I tried to gargle with whatever the hell was that was coming from the tap. I took a deep breath and looked into the mirror.
I saw her sitting on the counter behind me, with him leaning into her. Rocking forwards. And backwards. Her head tilted back, eyes closed. I dropped my bag.
“Fuck! My bag!” I scrambled to pick it up, making a loud commotion.
Her eyes flew open; she looked at me, winked and began to kiss his neck.
‘Bzzt. Bzzt.’
“New Text Message (1)”
‘Jen, I knw ur upset, feelin like I betrayed u, but 4 real, if u dont want me 2 go out w. Him, I wont! I swear u r more important 2 me then ne stupid guy. We’ve been frnds 4 7 yrs n we been thru 2 much 2getha, a guy cant b the reason we stop being frnds. Answer my call, lets talk. Plz?”
‘Bzzt. Bzzt.’
[ Paige (Home) Calling ]
‘Call disconnected’
When I heard the gossip from another girl, I denied it. Just denied and denied. It wasn’t possible for Paige to do that to me. Any other girl, sure, I mean she already had, but this was me. It was different. The justifications that I came up with in my mind, just seem ridiculous and insane to me now.
‘Bzzt. Bzzt.’
“Hi… I’ve been feeling like we need to talk… I don’t know how we got like this, but I don’t like it.”
“You don’t know how we got like this? Easy, you couldn’t keep your legs shut, and you couldn’t find any other guy in Vancouver who would sleep with you, you disgusting hoe. I never thought the nickname ‘Hoe Bag’ would be fit you so well. You fucked the same guy who Amanda fucked – two days later, and YOU KNEW. Now you’re fucking Chester. Fuck off.” I began to laugh mirthlessly.
“Call disconnected.”
The second I threw my phone against the windshield of my car, I felt the pangs of regret constrict my chest, and I began to feel a solid rock form in my throat. No, I would not cry. Not over her, after the years I defended her; the scars on my body and in my soul which had all resulted from being friends with her.
Memories came, rushed in and tumbled around my mind. Little things, how the warm summer breeze made my wind chime tinkle. The breeze that made things hotter. How we were sitting on my bed (my room had room for nothing else except a big bed and a make-up table, clothes were strewn everywhere, and anywhere they could be) gossiping, making prank calls, young fun. We had money, looks, and the trust of girls who had grown up together, but the vagueness of girls who had been betrayed in the past. Two girls who had been to hell and back again – together. Always together.
The heat was making us restless, making our minds jump from topic to topic, talking about everything and anything, no secret was too big to withhold, and no detail too minor to divulged. Finally, landing on the topic of our guys, our past loves: the big ones, the small ones, the ones who broke our hearts, and the hearts we broke. The ones we were putting aside for the future.
“Chester.” I declared. “Chester is definitely the one I would want to marry. He’s – reliable, I mean, yeah, he’s, uhh, a little bit of a ladies man right now, but I mean he’s almost 30, eventually he’s going to want to settle down. And he has a career, and future, legit – normal. I wouldn’t have to worry about him getting shot, or arrested. Not like James”
“Yeah, but you would have to worry about him bringing home Chlamydia. I don’t know about you, but I rather worry about my man getting arrested the bringing home STDs.” As she laughed at her own thoughts, Paige expressed her opinion of my ‘future man’. “Wait, didn’t James give you Chlamydia? And get shot? And arrested? No wonder Chester looks like a dream come true to you!” No sooner then the words were out of her mouth, she began to howl with laughter.
As I sat in my car, the more memories flooded my mind. Like intruders that were breaking through the wall I had erected to protect myself. Little flashes of the underground poker house we worked at. Well, technically, I worked at, and she flirted with other guys then proceeded to take half my tips.
“Honestly, Jennifer, I’m telling you,” Paige started as she gulped down red wine. “Chester is fucking disgusting. Seriously. I don’t get why you even dated him in the first place. Let alone sleep with him! Shit. He’s so….sleazy, there’s just this vibe he gives off that screams sleaze ball!”
“Paige, can you not? First of all, who the fuck gulps red wine? You’re going to be sick in about 15 minutes, and I’m gonna get stuck cleaning all this shit up. Second of all, he screams sleaze to you because you keep acting like a slut with his friend. Talking about how you want to do a three-some with Kale and a white chick.” I stared at her over the top of my mostly vodka with a little bit of cranberry juice (just to make it pink) drink.
“Whatever, I just don’t think that he’s boyfriend material. Or husband, like your deluded mind thinks he is. Or even fuckable!” She finished the rest of her wine in a gulp, began to laugh, stopped half way and ran for the bathroom, with her hand covering her mouth.
Memories in my mind swirled as I watched the smoke swirl in my car.
Bzzzt. Bzzzt.
“Hello?”
“Hey! Where are you? I haven’t seen you in so long!”
“Ok, shh, but I’m at a hockey game! Guess with who!” She whispered excitedly into the phone.
“Umm, it’s not hockey season. Are you watching the league hockey?” I asked curiously.
“Yeah! With Chester! Yeah, I was bored and I was talking to him on MSN, he asked me to go, so yeah!” She continued to whisper in the phone.
“Oh, that’s…cool… You guys been hanging out a lot lately?” I began to feel the headache form in my skull, pressure pushing out from every point possible, not unlike how Zeus must have felt when Athena axed her way out of his skull. Make that a pounding migraine.
“Not much -- anyways, he’s going to bring all of us out tonight, for my birthday. He rented us a party bus!” She squealed. “We’ll pick you up around 10 P.M.; we’re going all out tonight!”
‘Call disconnected.’
I felt a twinge pull in my stomach, a feeling I couldn’t quite place. I felt like it was at the edge of my brain, waiting to tumble into my mouth, but it just wasn’t substantial enough to spiral downwards yet. Yet.
When we arrived at the club, we went straight for the bar, and so began the drinking.
“Happy birthdayyy to youuuuuuuu, happy birthday to youuuu!!! Happy birthday dear Hoe Baaagggg!!!! Happy birthday to youu!! Whoooo!!!!!” We drunkenly screamed as we popped a bottle of champagne.
“What!! I thought foam was supposed to shoot everywhere!” One girl drunkenly despaired, as she reached for the bottle.
We passed the bottle around, 15 girls, each taking a long swig at it. When it got to me, I didn’t know what was going on, except that I finished the bubbly. Two second later, I felt it burn my stomach, and then feel a lot of extra salvia in my mouth, the bubbles began marching back -- upwards. I ran to the bathroom, into a stall, and let out all the bubbly the same way I let it in. The acid burned all the way up. Funny how some things are so smooth going down, but so rough coming back up. I puked a few more times – I had been drinking excessively, attempting to numb the voice in my head that kept doubting my best friend.
There was no way Paige could do that to me. She couldn’t have forgotten that conversation, about our future men. More importantly, she wouldn’t sleep with Chester. Not too long ago, she thought he was the devil incarnate. She wouldn’t sleep with the same guy I slept with. The thought made the bile rise up my throat again and I tried to gargle with whatever the hell was that was coming from the tap. I took a deep breath and looked into the mirror.
I saw her sitting on the counter behind me, with him leaning into her. Rocking forwards. And backwards. Her head tilted back, eyes closed. I dropped my bag.
“Fuck! My bag!” I scrambled to pick it up, making a loud commotion.
Her eyes flew open; she looked at me, winked and began to kiss his neck.
‘Bzzt. Bzzt.’
“New Text Message (1)”
‘Jen, I knw ur upset, feelin like I betrayed u, but 4 real, if u dont want me 2 go out w. Him, I wont! I swear u r more important 2 me then ne stupid guy. We’ve been frnds 4 7 yrs n we been thru 2 much 2getha, a guy cant b the reason we stop being frnds. Answer my call, lets talk. Plz?”
‘Bzzt. Bzzt.’
[ Paige (Home) Calling ]
‘Call disconnected’
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